The Life Cycle of a Pigeon
This is a pigeon egg. A lot of people wonder why you don't see baby pigeons. Today, you
will find out. The egg sac is in the pigeon's natural habitat of the theatre. It it about to hatch.
It has hatched. In front of you is a baby pigeon, also known as a squirrel. It is very young
and vulnerable to the dangers of the theatre. Camera operators, actors and directors are just
a handful of the pigeon's natural predators. It has to evolve quickly before it is captured and its
eyeballs are sold on eBay.
Next comes the cocoon period. This is the little house it spins for itself, out of mud and wires.
Well, it likes you to think that it's a little house. In reality, this cocoon provides pigeons with a
gateway to a parallel universe free from predators which enables them to grow and become stronger.
You are probably asking yourself why the pigeons don't stay in this peaceful world forever. The answer
is quite obvious if you take a look inside the cocoon. The world is the size of a flea and fully grown pigeons
cannot fit inside. But how do they fit in the first place you ask.
At birth, all pigeons have built in shrink-rays, hidden behind the left eyeball. They shrink themselves,
but unfortunately, in adulthood, the power wears ff and they grow again and they can no longer
fit inside the mini world. If you look very carefully at any pigeon, you will notice that its left eye
is not spherical, but shrink-rayical.
The third stage of a pigeon's life is adulthood. This is the pigeon that we know and see every day.
The large bushy tail has been shaved and gravity paste has been applied to it to hold it down.
The mouth has become long and sharp, perfect for pecking people's ankles and the useless arms have
transformed into wings which are much more useful for picking things up. Of course.
Well now that you know the truth about pigeons, spread the word. Please, before it's too late.